


Are you there God? It's me, Deanna

by Thuri



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Puberty, Weechesters, always-a-girl!Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-29
Updated: 2013-04-29
Packaged: 2017-12-09 23:12:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/779057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thuri/pseuds/Thuri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Winchester taught his daughter how to shoot, how to fight, and how to take care of her little brother. But there's a few things about growing up he forgot to tell her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are you there God? It's me, Deanna

**Author's Note:**

> Beta by the amazing Randomslasher. And thanks to the incredible DeathTouch for the cheerleading

Deanna stared down at the crotch of her panties, her skin crawling, her stomach clenching in fear. She didn't know what she'd done, what kind of witch or spirit she'd pissed off, but it must've been someone. Someone bad.

Because she didn't hurt, she wasn't cut, but she was _bleeding_. From between her legs.

Dad was going to be so _mad_.

She swallowed, wiping again and stuffing extra toilet paper in her underwear. It was only a little bit...maybe it would go away on its own. Maybe she wouldn't have to tell.

Yeah...it was probably nothing. Dad was busy, anyway. Maybe she _had_ cut herself, and just hadn't noticed. That was probably it.

"Dee! I need the potty!"

Sammy's whine caught her attention and forced her to her feet. "Just a second, Sammy," she called back, washing the rusty stains off her fingers. Yeah. It'd go away.

* * *

It _did_ go away after just a few days and Deanna let herself cautiously relax. She still didn't know what it had been, but she felt fine. And she hadn't slowed Dad down, that was the important thing. He'd finished his hunt without her messing it up.

A couple months later, Dad dropped her and Sammy off at Bobby's, off on another long hunt he didn't want them on. Deanna had begged to go, tried to convince him she could help, but he'd said no.

She spent the rest of the afternoon staring out Bobby's front window, watching the road the Impala had disappeared down hours earlier. She knew she could help, if Dad would just let her. She was almost eleven and just over five feet tall, the tallest girl in her last class. She was big enough, old enough...she shouldn't be stuck here with Sammy. Sure, he was still a baby, he needed Bobby to look after him, but she was growing up and she didn't.

Finally Bobby called her to dinner, standing in the doorway to the living room. "Get moving, Dee, your brother's waiting."

"M'not hungry," she replied, but pulled herself up and followed Bobby to the table. She was, really, but she didn't want to stop watching the road, just in case Dad changed his mind and came back for her.

" _I_ am," Sammy said, climbing into his chair and smiling up at Bobby. "Can I have seconds?"

"You haven't even had firsts yet," Deanna pointed out, sliding into her own place. "And you heard Dad. We can't eat Bobby out of house and home."

Bobby chuckled. "Doubt you two could manage that if you tried. Clean your plate, kiddo, and if you want more it's yours."

Sammy grinned triumphantly at Deanna as Bobby heaped his plate high. Deanna felt her stomach growl loudly as the warm, homey smell of Bobby's homemade macaroni and cheese reached her. It was her favorite...maybe she was a little hungry after all. Dad would come to the door, anyway, when he came back for her.

"There's pie for after, kids, but it'll keep if you fill up," Bobby said, spooning carrots onto Deanna's plate. "Sammy, you want a roll?"

"Yes, please," Sammy said, his fork clutched in his hand as he licked his lips. "Can we start?"

"Go ahead," Bobby replied, filling Sam's glass with milk. "It won't be good cold."

That, Deanna knew, wasn't true, but she smiled as Sammy dived in anyway, exclaiming "yum!" after his first bite. She ate more slowly, savoring each mouthful. She knew there'd be more, that Bobby always cooked plenty, so she made what she'd been given last as long as she could, feeling the warm, good food fill her up. And she watched Sammy eat his own fill, smiling again when he pushed his plate back--after a very small thirds--with a soft "oof."

"I'm done," he announced as he patted his belly. "I'm full all the way up to my ears."

Bobby laughed, reaching over and tousling Sam's hair. "Okay, kiddo. Help your sister clear the table and you can go play."

Sammy hopped up, gathering his empty plate and cup, carrying them over to the sink. "Are you done, too, Dee?" he asked as he came back, holding his hands out.

"Yeah. Thanks, Sammy," she replied, handing him her plate before getting to her feet. "I'll do the dishes, Bobby. You cooked, it's only fair."

Bobby shook his head. "Nah, just get everything cleared off, girl. I'll get it washed up."

Deanna protested, but Bobby raised an eyebrow at her and she subsided. He never let her do much work, when they stayed. She always tried--Dad had told her to make sure and look after Sammy and not cause Bobby trouble--but somehow she usually ended up left to her own devices instead.

She cleared away the plates and helped Bobby put the leftovers in the fridge, before following Sammy into the living room. He was stretched out on the floor, busy coloring. Deanna settled herself by the window again, curling up and drawing her knees to her chest, watching the road.

Dad wasn't going to come back. She sighed, as it grew darker, trying to ignore the painful twisting in her gut. He wasn't going to come back, wasn't going to let her help out. Wasn't going to have anyone to watch his back. She knew she'd messed up, last year, nearly letting Sammy get hurt...but she'd thought maybe she'd proved she was more grown-up now. Older, more responsible.

Her stomach twisted again and she curled up tighter, clenching her hands into tight fists, focusing on the pain of her ragged nails digging into her palms to keep her tears at bay. Soldiers didn't cry. Dad hadn't cried when he'd been a soldier.

And soldiers didn't always like their missions, but they still had to do them. They had to follow their orders.

So she would, too.

* * *

The next couple days passed quickly enough and Deanna tried not to think about Dad, out there and in danger. He could beat anything that came up against him, he'd be fine. He didn't really need her along, that was why he'd left her behind.

Instead, she asked Bobby to teach her more about cars, teach her how to fix them up. Maybe if she got really good at keeping the Impala running, Dad would want her along more. She knew he could fix it himself, but it would have to help to have two who could.

Plus, she loved sliding under an old car with Bobby, listening as he pointed out all the parts, quizzed her on them, and showed her how to take them apart and put them back together. She loved getting greasy and dirty and actually _fixing_ stuff.

And Sammy loved to sit in the driver's seat of whatever car they were under and pretend he was a race-car driver, which kept him out of trouble and close enough she could keep an eye on him.

Bobby had just let her change the oil on an old junker--almost all on her own--about five days after they'd arrived, when Sammy poked her foot. "Dee?"

Deanna waggled her foot at him from under the car, and he poked it again. "What, Sammy?"

"Dee, I'm bored. Play with me."

"I'm almost done, Sammy," she replied, tightening the oil filter in place. "Just a second." She moved to using both hands, grunting a little. She had to be strong enough to get it tightened all the way on her own now, she didn't want Bobby to have to finish it up for her.

"Deeeeeeeeeee," Sammy said, poking her foot again. "Hurry up!"

"Hang on a minute," Deanna grunted, spreading her legs to get her better leverage, gripping tight. "Almost there..." Her hands slipped, banging into hard metal. "Son of a bitch!"

Sammy gasped, loudly, and Deanna winced, fairly certain she was gonna get told on for cussing.

But his actual screams brought a cold, twisting pain to her gut. 

" _Bobby_! Bobby, Dee's _bleeding_! Dee's bleeding! She's bleeding!"

"I...no I'm not, Sammy," she said, pushing herself out from under the car. "I just hit my hand, I..."

But even as she pushed herself up, she saw Sammy was right. Blood had soaked through the crotch of her jeans, down the inside of both thighs, dark red and frightening.

She barely heard Sammy sobbing, trying to push back the rushing in her ears, the fear that had her frozen in place. Oh God, it'd come _back_. It'd come back, and she really was cursed, and Dad was going to be so mad. Bobby would call and tell him and he'd have to cut his hunt short to deal with her and how she'd screwed up. She was gonna be in so much _trouble_...

The screen door of the house slammed and she heard Bobby running toward them, heard him telling Sammy to back off and give her room. She swallowed, hard, unable to push back the tears this time as he knelt beside her and looked her over.

"I'm sorry," she gulped out, before he could say anything. "I don't know who cursed me, I swear, Bobby, I don't. I don't know what I did, please don't tell Dad. I'll figure it out, I'll get it lifted, I'm _sorry_..."

"Whoa, whoa," Bobby said, taking her hands in his and squeezing them. "Stop babbling, girl. You're not cursed...and your daddy should've told me you'd started this. I'd've been prepared for it."

"For...for what?" Deanna asked, trying to stop the tears now they'd started and not managing it really well. "I must be cursed, Bobby, it happened before but it went away...and now it's back and I..."

"You idjit," Bobby said fondly, picking her up and gathering her into his lap, apparently unconcerned about both grease and blood. "It's normal, Dee. You're a girl, it _happens_. C'mon, let's get you inside and cleaned up." He stood, carrying her, something she couldn't remember happening in years. "C'mon, Sammy, your sister's gonna be fine. Stop crying, kiddo."

"But Dee's _dying_ ," Sammy hiccuped, following them into the house.

"She's not," Bobby said firmly, so firmly Deanna couldn't help but believe him. Bobby had never lied to her. "She's just growing up. You go turn on the TV while we get her cleaned up, okay?"

Sammy agreed, reluctantly, as Bobby took Deanna into the bathroom. He set her down on the toilet, crouching in front of her and taking her hands in his again. "Think it's about time someone had a talk with you. Your daddy told you anything about sex, Dee?"

Deanna shook her head. "Just that...that we shouldn't talk about it," she said, shrugging slightly. She'd asked him once and he'd said she was too young and not to worry about it, but that had been years ago. "Why? I didn't...it didn't happen to me, did it? Is that why I'm..."

"No, no," Bobby said firmly, squeezing her hand again. His face was red, but he didn't seem angry. If she didn't know better, she'd say he was embarrassed. "No, but sex is...God. Never thought I'd be the one telling a kid this." He took a deep breath. "Okay. Sex is...well, there's a lot to it and I'll tell you the rest later. But for now...it's how you get babies. A man and a woman make a baby together."

"I know _that_ ," Deanna said, pretty sure that didn't have anything to do with what was happening to her. "But why am I bleeding?"

"Well..." Bobby picked his hat up, scratching at his head, then put it back on. "It's something that happens, if you don't make a baby. Your body gets ready, in case you want one. It's normal, and it'll happen until you're too old to have kids. It's called a period. Lasts a few days every month, and your belly might hurt while it does. "

Her eyes widened. "Every _month_?" she whispered in horror. She was going to bleed every month? Dad wasn't going to buy her new pants that often, she knew it. "How do I make it stop? Can I ask someone? Cast a spell? Anything?"

"Fraid not, kiddo," Bobby replied, shaking his head. "Only way to stop it is to have a kid, and it starts back up once the kid's born. And you are _way_ too young to think about that, even if your body's getting ready for it."

"I've already got Sammy to look after, anyway," Deanna said, frowning. "So what...what do I do? People'll notice if I'm all bloody..."

"Don't worry about that," Bobby said, squeezing her hand again. "There's things you use to protect your clothes. I'll get you what you need, show you how to use it. We'll let your daddy know when he gets back, but it's normal, okay?"

She nodded slowly, the sick fear leaving her at last. "You promise?"

" _Promise_ ," Bobby replied, gathering her close in a hug. "It's totally normal, and it's not gonna change you, and your daddy's not gonna be mad." He pushed her hair back from her face and smoothed her tears away. "He'll watch out for you, keep you safe, okay?"

"I know," Deanna said, nodding. She did. Dad would always keep her safe, she knew that. And she didn't want to admit how scared she'd been to Bobby. "I just..."

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "It's okay, Dee. And hey...even if you were cursed, you come tell me, you got it? Don't keep that kind of thing to yourself. You tell me, we'll fix it. That's what I'm here for."

Deanna sniffled again, pressing close to Bobby, and nodded. "Okay," she whispered, hiding her face in his neck. "Love you, Bobby."

"Love you, too, kid. Love you, too."

* * *


End file.
